When you think about divorce, your mind automatically goes to the worst of things: infidelity or a lack of intimacy. Indeed, these are the big culprits behind nasty breakups. But there are also tiny habits that make spouses bitter. Because these routines are so trivial, they can quickly go unresolved. Over time, however, they can lead to significant issues. Beware of these “petty” habits that can cause a rift in your marriage:
Fighting over chores
Harvard Business School claims that 25% of divorced couples attribute arguments over house chores as the number-one factor in splitting up. At a glance, it seems like an overstretch, but if you think about the daily stresses of work and parenting, the last thing that fatigued couples want is to do the laundry. Deciding who’s going to do the chores can trigger nasty fights. The reality is that keeping the house clean is an everyday job, so the arguments can become a default in the household. Also, do you know that chores can dampen your sex drive? You might have less desire to make love when you just washed the dishes, did the laundry, and put the kids to bed. If intimacy doesn’t become a priority anymore and the marriage goes sexless, it can lead to partners drifting apart. Sometimes, they start seeking “love” from other sources. Although cheating isn’t bad news in a no-fault state, it hurts when you look at it from an emotional perspective.
Sometimes, you do this consciously, especially when you want a brewing argument to dissipate. Other times, you do this unintentionally. You retreat to your phone, video game, or whatever it is you’re doing. For sure, you’ve heard of this behavior already: stonewalling. This behavior communicates to the other person that you don’t care about what they say, what they need, or what they feel. When you’re feeling overwhelmed by an argument, verbalize it to your spouse and take a break. You can enlist the help of a relationship expert if you find it hard to talk through your issues. If you decide to push through with the divorce and settle it amicably, divorce mediation is an excellent legal remedy. You can ask a family lawyer about it.
Using too much social media
Your relationship with your phone can take a toll on your relationship with your spouse. One study says that the regular use of social media can cause one partner to monitor the online activity of the other, increasing feelings of jealousy. This can result in a marriage breakdown. In other reports, social media makes rekindling friendships with past lovers easier, which throws the whole cheating fiasco back into the scene. In this digital age, the things that you do online not only contribute to divorce but also play a huge role in the legal proceedings. Your partner can use your online statements to reduce your credibility. This can affect child custody or spousal support arrangements. So if you want to protect your marriage, try to limit your use of social media.
In the end, the worst problems don’t always encourage couples to consider divorce; it’s the little things or offenses that pile up over time. So the question stands: do you have these habits?