Many people believe that time heals everything. This belief often comes with pieces of advice like “Just give it time, “It’s going to get better,” or “You just need some time, everything will be okay.” People might say things like these when you’re going through a tough time, like losing a loved one or dealing with problems in a relationship.
In the case of an unhappy marriage, for instance, the saying “time heals everything” can refer to giving the relationship a second chance or delaying the divorce or separation. This comes with the hope that things will eventually get better. This can be well-intentioned, but it is not always true that time heals everything. It can help with the healing process but not necessarily heal all wounds.
Divorce lawyers in Santa Fe explore how the idea that time can heal all wounds plays a part in delaying marriage dissolution:
Is it the end?
Even when the relationship is over, couples do not entertain the idea of divorce, hoping that they can work things out or bring the spark back. There is nothing wrong with this since working through problems is, in most cases, better than giving up. There is, however, another issue with delaying the divorce, which is the perception of it being detrimental to the whole family.
There are, of course, advantages to delaying the divorce. Getting back together or holding on might benefit the children and prevent the adverse effects associated with having a broken family. But then again, for a relationship to work, both spouses should be willing to do everything they can. Failure to do so can only make things worse or add more strain to the relationship.
They might be good reasons for delaying the divorce, but there are also consequences. If the marriage, for instance, is over, it can negatively affect kids, especially if they see their mom and dad arguing all the time or ignoring each other. The overwhelming anger, grief, and frustration over an unhappy marriage can also affect the children’s relationship with both of the parents.
Walk away or stay?
When the relationship is destructive or no longer healthy, should you end the marriage or continue to hold on and repair what is broken? Should you fight for a might be a losing battle and hope for the best? Should you hold on to the belief that not all marriages are perfect and going through rough patches are normal? Should you trust time and believe that things would improve and get better?
There is no clear answer as this will depend on your situation. Time will pass whatever your choice is. You can hold on and see things get better or get stuck in an unhappy marriage and wallow in sadness or regret. You can choose to stay, but also remember that doing so might mean missing a meaningful relationship with another person.
Decisions, especially wise ones, takes time and effort. You should also know, however, that time is unforgiving; it will pass, and you can never get it back. You can choose to work and improve your marriage or explore the idea of divorce. This is not entirely negative, especially if you have explored all options. Starting anew for the right reasons is beneficial for you in the long term.
The decision to have a divorce should be made with a clear head. If you think that a divorce is necessary, talk to a lawyer or therapist to help you get through the process.